Is the ship going down and taking me with it?

Is the ship going down and taking me with it?

A summer full of ups and downs. I guess there are limits to what the great dandelion root can do for me. It certainly can’t bring back mobility of a broken and ruined finger.

In July I broke a finger while pushing kids on a swing. I assumed it was only a sprain so I didn’t get it checked until two weeks later and an x-ray showed it had been broken and now grew together wrong, plus the disk in the joint was crushed. So now I’m in constant pain, the finger is in the way of almost everything, can’t bend or straighten properly, and this problem has caused my life to almost do a summersault over the past few weeks.

Earlier I used to make dolls and knit a lot – I can no longer root the dolls, and what earlier took me two days to knit, now takes me three weeks while being in a great deal of pain while doing so. Its depressing and I can’t help but feeling scared. Will this ever be any better? Will I ever be able to go back to my two passions?

When it happened I had three months of waitinglist of customers waiting for outfits to be made.. imagine what that has done to my economy to have had to cancel all those orders…

So I am now hoping to be able to scale up my webdesign work, korrespondance work with translations etc. along with graphic design. Those things have until now just been on the hobbyside, but since I can no longer add to my income from dollmaking and clothing, I need to find something else. Also in order to keep myself busy.

Some days are just too hard to go through. Like today… apparently I’ve slept on my hand so the broken finger has been really painful all day. That brings down my mood, and gives me scary thoughts of wether or not this will be better or if it will continue for the rest of my life and prevent me from doing what I’m best at…

So people who read this… appreciate what you have, you’ll never know when you lose it.

- Karina

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